


A Witch's Pregnancy, a Little Short of Hell in a Hand Basket

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-11
Updated: 2008-07-11
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Unfortunately, a witch's pregnancy does not differ much from a Muggle woman's. It's not like you can just say 'Accio baby!' This is the story of Lily Potter's pregnancy, one of the hardest times of her life, but with the most exhilirating, happiest endings.





	1. The Beginning is Always the Easiest Part

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  
Author's notes: 1  


* * *

**Disclaimer** : J.K. Rowling’s playground; I just play in it [;

**A Witch’s Pregnancy, A Little Short of Hell in a Hand Basket** :

_The Beginning is Always the Easiest Part:_ Lily

\-----------------------

Unfortunately, a witch’s pregnancy is just as awful as a Muggle woman’s. You would think with all this magic, that it would be easy! I guess it’s not like you can just go and say ‘Accio baby!’ from the womb and have it all be well and dandy. However, that would be nice.

The first month wasn’t so bad… given I had no idea that I was pregnant. I had been irregular since after my Auror training, so worrying about my period wasn’t a big deal. James and I rarely got to see each other in between our long and extensive shifts as being Aurors and apart of the Order of the Phoenix. I had started to feel queasy in the mornings. Honestly, I thought it was just a bit of a cold from exhaustion. I was averaging about 6 hours of sleep a WEEK. At least it seemed that way.

It was during the second month that I finally decided to go to St. Mungo’s to see a mediwitch.I didn’t consider my second missed period until I overheard a conversation. I was sitting in the waiting room, idly kicking my feet while I waited. To my left and quite near, two ladies were chit-chatting.

~*~

“I was so excited that I had missed my period! Edward and I have been trying for months now!” one of them breathed out excitedly.

When I heard that, it dawned on me. My stomach dropped, as did my mouth in horror. __

_No, no… that can’t be it! I’m just under stress. It’s just lots of stress and lack of sleep. That has to be it. I can’t be pregnant!_  

All of these new, foreign thoughts were making me feel ill. Without thinking to conjure a wastebasket, I pitched forward, head between my knees, and retched. Much to my chagrin, everyone in the waiting room turned to stare at me. Groaning, I whipped out my wand and _Scourgify!-_ d the floor. To save me further embarrassment, a mediwitch stepped into the hallway, calling out, “Lily Potter?”

I hastily stood up, walking briskly toward the woman, “Yes, yes that’s me… Can we hurry please?”

“Of course, right this way!” She smiled brightly, ushering me through the doorway and down the hallway.

I followed the mediwitch and left the waiting room full of tut-tutting women behind me. Thank Merlin. I can finally breathe properly again.

The mediwitch lead me into a room, and instructed for me to sit down. A little ruffled, I obeyed quietly. 

“Your healer will be here shortly,” she smiled kindly before exiting the room. 

While I waited, I examined the examination room. It was rather dull and completely stark white. Why are hospitals so bleak? Only a few moments has passed before another, older woman entered.

“Hello, Mrs. Potter,” she called out.

Rendering myself mute for the moment, I only smiled in response.

I watched her put her gemmed glasses on, pulling out a clipboard with a magical quill waiting to write as she walked in.

“Ahem, give me a moment Mrs. Potter. I need to test this quill out,” she stated, smiling before continuing, talking to the quill, “Mrs. Lucretia Bones, mediwitch, 15th of December 1979. Attending to Mrs. Lily Marie Potter, previously Lily Marie Evans, who is here for an appointment because she has been feeling unwell for approximately six weeks.”

I sat there feeling even more awkward as I watched the quill move effortlessly without her even touching it. If I wasn’t so nervous, I might have been awed.

“Alright Mrs. Potter, I have a few questions to ask before I begin to look into your problem. Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Have you been sleeping regularly? Do you have any allergies?” Lucretia asked kindly.

I frowned, furrowing my brow. 

“Well, yes. I’ve been under lots of stress. There is a _war_ going on. No, I have not been sleeping regularly. James and I have both been working highly irregular and long shifts. Allergies?” I paused, considering my allergies and the relativity of them before responding, “No, none that I can think of.”

“Are you taking any medication? Are you pregnant?” she continued.

I shook my head when she asked me if I was taking any medication, but my heart stopped when I heard ‘pregnant.’ I chewed nervously on the inside of my lip.

Lucretia delicately rose a brow, and when I didn’t respond she asked, “Do you know the last time you had your period?”

 

“Well… Everything has been so hectic and ever since I finished Auror training I’ve been irregular… I honestly couldn’t tell you,” I answered guiltily.

She sighed, shaking her head and muttering something along the lines of ‘kids these days.’

“Alright, I alright… Let me do a test to see if you are pregnant or not,” Lucretia made a tutting noise before casting a pregnancy charm to see if I was pregnant or not.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Potter. You’re having a baby!” she exclaimed.

I am sure she meant well, but she scared the daylights out of me. I looked down to examine my stomach, and sure enough, there was a blue positive sign. I don’t remember much after that, I think I passed out.

I woke up moments later to being poked and prodded by a variety of healers asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions.

“Oh Merlin,” I groaned, sitting up and tossing an arm in weak defense to fend them off, “Geroff me.”

“Welcome back, Mrs. Potter,” Lucretia only smiled at me and it made me feel like she was inwardly laughing at me. I think she had been able to tell all along.

This must be some sick joke. Surely the gods are laying some mortifying game with me. I can’t seriously be pregnant in the midst of a war! I can’t put my baby in that sort of mess! I started hyperventilating, contemplating my situation.

“So what do I do now?” I asked feebly.

“I would suggest telling your husband. I’m sure he will be thrilled! I will be sure to owl you for your regular check-ups and prenatal care. Good day, Mrs. Potter.” With one last smile, she exited, but not before adding, “You have that glow, Mrs. Potter.”

~*~

I still am not sure I made it home that day. The whole day had been a daze. James was on a mission, but he was supposed to be home late. I distractedly made dinner, debating whether I should call any friends or family first, or wait to tell James first.

I picked up the phone to call mum, but then put it back down. No, I couldn’t tell her first. James had to know. What if he didn’t want it?

Telling James had been the hardest.

~*~

“Honey, I’m home!” James called out.

“I’m in the kitchen,” I responded somewhat distressed as I was setting the table. 

“Honey, why are you setting the table the Muggle way? Is something bothering you?” He walked over to me, cupping my face and kissing my temple. He knew I did things the Muggle way when something was weighing on my conscience.

“Well… I have news!” My face brightened, but I think he easily saw through my façade.

“Oh, what kind? Good or bad?” he eyed me curiously.

“James I’m pregnant,” I blurted, quickly raising my hands to cover my mouth af.terward.

I couldn’t tell is he was shocked or horrified. He took a step back, staring at me with his mouth agape.

“Come again?” he asked.

My lower lip trembled and I looked like I was about to cry. He didn’t want it. I could tell. He was angry. I sat down heavily on a dining room chair, putting my head in my hands. I broke down then, sobbing hysterically.

“Oh James, you don’t want it, do you? Are you mad?” I cried.

“Oh no, no, no Lily! Oh baby, no, not at all. I’m excited! That’s terrific news! The best we’ve had in a long time! Oh Lily, we’re having a child!” 

He dropped down to his knees, cupping my face with his hands. He lifted my head up, staring into my watery eyes. His thumbs rubbed at my tear-streaked face, wiping my tears away. He leaned in to kiss me passionately.

He made me realize that I would get through this. Because of him.

~*~

Telling everyone else the news turned out to be easier. The Order was having a dinner party at our house in Godric’s Hollow for the holidays, just a day after Christmas. We had just started eating when James clanked his fork against his glass to get everyone’s attention.

“Listen everyone, Lily and I have great news!” He announced, squeezing my shoulder fondly and grinning wildly. I smiled; maybe his enthusiasm was growing on me. Then again, he wasn’t the one who would have to carry another human being inside of him for the next several months!

“We’re having a baby!” he yelled. 

The table roared with delight. Everyone began talking at once, saying things like ‘I knew it was coming!’ and ‘You can tell, she has that glow!’

“Here, here! To James and Lily Potter, and the soon to-be-Potter!” Sirius cried out.

\-----------------

**A/N** : _I know that St. Mungo’s has healers, but I wasn’t sure if healers were what you deal with when you’re giving birth… and I swear I’ve read mediwitch somewhere, but I checked the wiki and didn’t find it in there so… I apologize if this is more than a little bit non-Canon. I tried, if that counts for anything! Please, let me know what you think! I am open for any form of criticism! I hope you enjoy!_

 


	2. Getting Fatter was SO Not in the Contract!

**Disclaimer** : J.K. Rowling’s playground; I just play in it [;

**A Witch’s Pregnancy, a Little Short of Hell in a Hand Basket** :

_Getting Fatter was SO NOT in the Contract!:_ Lily

\-----------------------

“James,” I whined, trying to suck in my stomach so that I could get my jeans to button, “I’m getting fat!”

I fell back onto the sofa so that I could lay flat, still attempting to unsuccessfully manage to button my jeans.

“Merlin, Lily,” James sighed, flopping the Daily Prophet down in his lap to stare at me incredulously. He checked me out, and let out a low wolf whistle, smiling, “You don’t look like you’ve gained any weight, honey.”

I think just to prove his point, he stalked over to me. Without any notice, and before I could even begin to defend myself, he pounced on me! I gasped in shock. He didn’t even allow me to protest, he just wrapped his arms around me, rolling over so I was sprawled on top of him, then kissed me passionately. It was like old times. And definitely made me feel incredibly sexy—something I haven’t exactly been feeling lately.

Still hugging me tightly, he whispered in my ear, “Lily, you will always look fabulous to me. Stop worrying.”

I smiled into the crook of his neck. James was my knight my shining armor, helping me battle this pregnancy.

Which takes a lot more gusto than anyone may think!

~*~

That was only about the end of my first trimester.

When I signed up for this, not that I really had to begin with, but regardless, I wasn’t aware of the complications that came with it. I didn’t know the nausea would last so long or that these insane food cravings would happen upon me at random. A few days ago James came home when I was making myself a sandwich, the Muggle way. (I tend to do that when I’m stressed, do thing the Muggle way, I mean.)

~*~

“Hey honey, want to—” James stopped mid-sentence, sniffing the air strangely as he walked into the kitchen. “Lily, dear, what’s that atrocious smell?”

I didn’t bother responding, the air smelled fine to me; although, my nose has been picking up some awfully strange smells lately. I think I have even smelled the furniture. They have a strange smell about them. Kind of weird. I know if James wasn’t so loud upon his arrival, I would probably smell him before I heard him instead of the other way around.

He fell short of the kitchen counter, staring at me with a queer look upon his face. “What is that supposed to be?” he asked pointedly, staring at the sandwich I was in the process of making.

Following his gaze, I looked down at my creation. I put the pickles on it then the top slice of bread.

“It’s a sandwich!” I beamed up at him, detailing my success, “It’s got pickles, ham, anchovies, sunnyside up eggs, mustard, mayonnaise, chocolate fudge, strawberries, peanuts and some grilled asparagus on a wheat roll.”

He pulled a face, something between ‘I’m going to retch’ and ‘That is the grossest, funniest thing I have ever heard!’ Huffing, I put my hands on my hips and frowned at him. 

“Don’t you dare go giving me a bad time! It’s not my fault the baby seems to want me to eat these things! They just sound... so delicious!” I pouted, staring down at my sandwich dejectedly.

And trust me, it sounded and even looked like heaven. Half these foods weren’t even items I regularly ate, if at all.

“Lils, you don’t even like anchovies!” Upon seeing my utterly dismayed look, James grinned, kissing my temple as he walked by to the fridge, continuing, “Oh honey, you should know I’m just giving you a bad time. Eat away to your fantastically gross desires!”

I huffed again, throwing a pickle at James back as he scoured through the fridge.

“Stop being so mean to me!” I whined, looking back down at my sandwich.

James delicately peeled the pickle slice off of his back and tossed it into the garbage. Retreating from the refrigerator, he made his way back to me, mouth full of raspberries.

“Wiwy, I’m mot bein’ meam to yo’!” he exclaimed with a full mouth somewhat exasperatedly, his arms thrown in the air for leverage.

I simply stuck my tongue out, picked up my sandwich and took a large, delicious, absolutely heavenly bite out of it.

“Mmmm!” I moaned, just to make my point clear.

“This sight abhors me,” he stated simply, shuddering and shaking his head at me as he put the berries away.

“Nyah-nyah,” I said, sticking my tongue out, my mouth still partially full, “Like seafood?”

James looked up and laughed in amusement.

“You’re too much, Lily,” he sauntered back over, wrapping his arms around me, “I have to go back to work, but you take it easy alright?”

I kissed his cheek. “Try to make it home for dinner, please? I’m going to cook up a new creation!”

James noticeably gagged and turned to me, rushing, “No, no. That’s okay honey. I’ll do dinner tonight, ok?”

“Fine,” I pouted again.

He blew me a kiss and then disappeared with a _pop!_

Shrugging complacently, I continued to chow down on my sandwich.

~*~

I also didn’t know that along with strange cravings and insecurity, carrying another being inside of you created some sort of… glow? I have no idea what the hell they are talking about, I sure hope I’m not glowing! It’s like I am walking around with a sign over my head with big, fat letters spelling PREGNANT. I don’t think I look any different. Well, except for the getting fatter part. I don’t fit into _anything_ anymore!

~*~

I decided to go spend the day with the girls. Alice was also pregnant, and she invited me and some of the other girls we hung out with at Hogwarts to have lunch and refreshments at hers and Franks’ flat. 

I knocked tentatively on the door, feeling somewhat subdued in my flowery summer dress. It was a dreadfully warm day.

Marlene was actually the one who answered the door, which both surprised me and excited me because I haven’t seen her in a while.

“Marlene!” I squealed, running to give her a hug.

“Woah there, nice to see you, too, Lils!” she hugged me back before ushering me in, the door falling shut after us.

Diana, Emmeline and Alice were sitting in the sitting room, laughing about something as we walked in.

“Lily! Oh, look at you! You’ve got that glow! You look absolutely amazing!” Diana exclaimed, clasping her hands together.

“Oh she does, doesn’t she? Look at that, you’re absolutely radiant!” Alice chimed in, smiling brightly.

“Oh no, not you girls, too!” I moaned, sinking into an armchair. The girls exchanged looks.

Emmeline assessed me quizzically, “What do you mean?”

“Is it really _that_ noticeable?! All of the women go about crooning ‘ _Oh, look at that! She has that glow!’_ and _‘Isn’t that darling! She’s expecting!’_ I mean honestly, is there a neon sign flashing above my head that screams ‘ _pregnant!_ ’?” I huffed from my seat.

Alice just laughed at my remarks. I looked over at her, and it was then that I finally somewhat understood what ‘the Glow’ was. Alice was still Alice, but she was different. She did look more radiant, almost sparkly. I smiled.

“You have the glow, too, Alice,” I said softly.

Again, Alice only beamed. “I know what you mean, though. I had women telling me I had the glow _before_ I even knew I was pregnant! That was unnerving.”

We all laughed. It was nice. Considering I feel like I do more crying than laughing these days.

“What do you think you’re having Alice?” I asked suddenly.

“A boy,” she answered immediately. She always wanted a boy, and Frank wanted nothing more than to teach his little tyke how to play Quidditch like a pro.

“What about you, Lily?” Diana inquired. Suddenly they were all looking at me.

Somehow, this reminded me of school. I’m really not someone who strives for attention; and since mine and James’ Hated Days, as I call them now, I really don’t like to be in the center of it all. I coughed.

“Well… I’m not really sure. But I think with my luck, it’s going to be whatever I don’t want. Which I really don’t know what I want, either. Which is strange because I normally do know what I want,” I rambled.

“Lily, you’re rambling,” Marlene noted. I stuck my tongue out as a mature response.

“Emmeline, you’re so lucky you’re having a girl! What do you want to name her?” I suddenly said, changing the subject successfully.

She was suddenly all smiles, “Hannah. She’s going to be the prettiest thing ever, I just know it! My baby shower is next month, don’t forget!”

And the conversation drifted into baby showers and mostly babies, considering we were all expecting to be expecting soon or already were. But I couldn’t help but wonder, what would I have?

\---

**A/N** : _Ack, I’m so sorry for the long wait! Summer school started and I feel like I lost a lot of free time…I’m honestly not too sure about how much I like this because I feel like it doesn’t flow too well. I tried so hard to stand by my page standard, and I think maybe because of that I ruined its appeal. I hope you all like it! [;_


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